reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
