omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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