Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
