Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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