no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
