By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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