Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
