3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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