i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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