Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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