How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize