he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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