sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Panties = found
Randomize
