I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
