he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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