It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
