Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
