Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
