go do what you do best...puke behind churches
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize