He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
