I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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