i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
