It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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