I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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