i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize