I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
