Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
