so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
