really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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