too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
