its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
