No stitches, just platelets and will power
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
