Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
