i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There are leaves in my underwear?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
