Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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