I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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