So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
