You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
vagina is talking i cant
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
