I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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