3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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