did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh god it's open bar.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
