I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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