Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
