her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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