There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
