let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
