; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
