Sponge bath it is.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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