I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
