brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize