Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
