mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
