i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
