i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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