What a fucking waste of an outfit
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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