I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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