shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
