Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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