My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
