If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize