your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize