I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
