I must be too annoying 4 u.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
