I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
