Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
