Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
